Searching
by seamuxfinny
Summary: A Deamus story about the Battle of Hogwarts. My first story for this pairing!
1. Chapter 1

**Thanks for deciding to give this fic a shot! It's told from Dean's POV, and I'm thinking it will be either 2 or 3 chapters, unless you want me to continue past that.**

** I don't own Harry Potter. Nor do I own the characters mentioned. They belong to our queen, J.K. Rowling.**

Seamus and I had been fighting side by side for at least an hour, neither of us wanting to leave the other's side. I looked into his eyes from across the hall, and could practically see the adrenaline in them. It was one of those few rare moments in the battle where we weren't being attacked head on by Death Eaters. But that moment only lasted three seconds at best.

More came, two of them, one sending a curse at me and the other cursing Seamus. I automatically deflected, the curse missing me by no more than an inch. I kept on fighting and saw from the corner of my eye Seamus struggling with the Death Eater he was facing. It didn't look like he would make it. What would happen if he didn't make it?

Suddenly, someone's spell, I couldn't tell whose, hit the ceiling. Rocks started to fall, very fastly so. Seamus, me, and both Death Eaters stared dumbstruck at the ceiling, our fights temporarily forgotten. After only a few seconds, enough had fallen that I couldn't even see Seamus anymore. Frightened, I turned back to my Death Eater, but the masked man had fled.

"SHAY!" I screamed, desperate for some response signaling that my best friend was alive. But no response came. I hoped beyond hope that the bricks and rocks had fallen so much so much that he simply couldn't hear my shouts through the rubble. I couldn't convince myself, I was too worried. But I knew I had to keep fighting. So I did.

For the entire rest of the battle I tried to keep my head straight and focused on what I was doing and who I was fighting, but I couldn't do it. Thoughts of Seamus kept entering my mind, terrible thoughts. Images of his body, mangled, bloody, and oh so very dead tainted the things I was actually seeing. It was so terrifying, being faced two on one by Death Eaters while images of a dead Seamus kept popping up wherever I looked.

But then, as suddenly as the battle had started, it was over. After all the injuries, the deaths, and the blood it was all done. For a second, I felt relieved, but then I thought of Seamus, and the sweet relief disappeared. He was as good as dead. If the rocks falling from the ceiling didn't crush him to death, surely something else killed him. Shay had never been good at defensive spells; anyone with eyes could see that. The boy didn't stand a chance against the Death Eaters in the castle.

I tried to think about the possibility of him being alive, but my mind was too full of the dark, depressing thought that he was dead. I limped into the Great Hall, looking frantically for Seamus, desperately needing to know whether he was alive or not.

"Dean. Dean! DEAN!" I turned at the sound of my name and saw Neville running towards me. "Hey, can you believe th —"

"Have you seen Seamus?" I asked, cutting him off in desperation.

"Uh n-no," he stuttered, "I haven't. But don't worry, Dean! I'm sure he's fine."

Neville was trying to sound reassuring, but it did nothing to help.

"Listen, Neville. I need to find him; I need to find him fast. So if you see him, tell him to look for me, kay?"

"Yeah, of course," he replied.

I ran past Neville and across the Great Hall, looking hard for the only person I wanted to see. I tried screaming his name, but I knew it was no use. The Hall was so loud and buzzing with people that there was no way he'd ever be able to hear me. If he was even alive, that is. _No, push those thoughts away. It's not helping anything._

At this point I had made it all the way around the Hall, and still no sign of him. He was buried in that rubble, or dead by a Death Eater's hand. There was no other explanation I could think of. I slid down the wall and sat against with my knees pulled up to my chest. That's when I began to break down, my heart being ripped into millions of tiny pieces for that crazy Irishman I knew so well.

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	2. Chapter 2

It could have been seconds. It could have been hours. Hell, it could have been _days_ that I was sitting against the wall. Time had lost all meaning. _Everything _had lost all meaning. Everything except for Seamus. He was all that mattered. I just wanted him back. I wanted to see him, to hear him speak, and, most of all, to wrap my arms around him and never let go. Tears were welling in my eyes and at this point I knew that there was no stopping them. They ran down my face, hot and fast and with no intention of ceasing.

I sat there and I cried, not caring who saw me like this, so vulnerable and weak. People were walking by, some even running. I could hear joyous reunions all around me and I ached with jealousy. All I needed to do was find him. Then everything would be okay and I could finally be happy. I stood up and wiped the tears from my eyes. Sitting here miserable would not do anything to help the situation at hand. I had to stop thinking that he was definitely dead and start looking for him, on the off chance that he was actually alive. I walked out of the Great Hall, with my wand in my hand and my thoughts set on one goal.

Deciding where to look first wasn't hard at all, I knew where I had to go: the hall where the ceiling crumbled in front of my eyes. He had to be there. But even if he wasn't I wouldn't give up. I would _never _give up. Not on him. I got to the hall and gazed across it. It appeared completely abandoned, the pile of rocks and rubble nearly filling the room.

And that's when I saw hit. Seamus's wand, lying just outside of the pile. My heart filled with hope as I ran towards the wand. He had to be here, somewhere! Maybe even still alive, if I was lucky. I reached his wand and gasped at the sight. It was completely covered in blood, and lying in a small puddle of it. But I wasn't going to let that thrash my new found hope.

I began by carefully moving the rocks small enough for me to pick up. It was like walking on eggshells, because I was too scared of sending more tumbling and hurting him more if he was there. I felt like I had moved so much, but there was still no sign of him anywhere. I was starting to get scared. Terrified, even.

"Dean?" A voice asked. Luna.

"Luna, hi," I said, my voice shaking.

"What are you doing?" She asked.

"I'm looking for Sea-Seamus," I heard myself stutter at his name, it was becoming painful to say it out loud.

"Oh, do you think that he's under those rocks?"

"Yeah, I found his wand here."

"Well, would you like some help?" She offered. I considered it carefully. While I did want to get him out of there as quickly as possible, I didn't want anyone to see me so broken.

"Yes, that would be great, Luna," I decided. Finding Seamus was much more important than people seeing me broken and vulnerable, "thank you so much."

"No problem, Dean," she said happily and skipped over to start helping me. We moved the rocks in almost complete silence, though I could seeing her glancing at me every few seconds, worry etched on her face.

"Dean," she said, breaking the silence, "if he was there, d'you think he'd be able to hear us if we shouted for him?"

"Maybe. When the rocks first fell I shouted for him and got no response, but now that we've uncovered some of this he might be able to hear us."

"Yes, okay. SEAMUS!" she shouted, her voice ringing out through the hall, and only met with silence.

"SHAY!" I screamed, "Where are you, Seamus? Come on, mate. I need to know you're alive! SEAMUS!" Then, from somewhere slightly to the left of us, I heard it. It was nothing more than a moan, but it was definitely there.

"Did you hear that, Luna?" I asked excitedly.

"Yes, but barely." She replied. So she heard it, too. That means that I wasn't just going crazy, that he was actually there! My heart leapt at the thought.

I moved closer to where I heard the noise. "Shay, I'm going to get you out of there right now. Don't move, not even a bit."

"Dean, I think we can actually get him!" Luna said.

"We will. I won't stop trying until I get him out."

**Sorry for the semi-awkward chapter ending, it kind of just happened that way. Anyway, I hope you liked it!**


	3. Chapter 3

_**Here you are, chapter three! There will be more chapters after this, even though I said I'd earlier that it would only be three chapters long. I'm not sure how long this will end up being, I might just keep writing as long as people are still interested in the story.**_

_**Thank you all so much for the reviews!**_

Picking up stones that I knew were right on top of Seamus was difficult. My hands were shaking and I was scared half to death of moving one wrong and hurting him even more than he most likely already was. I didn't even use magic, or let Luna use it, I was so paranoid. Luna was very good at moving the stones without any mini avalanches happening, her hands were gentle and she had much more patience than I did. While I didn't want any more stones to land on him, I also just wanted him out of there as fast as possible. I needed to touch him, hear him breathing and hear his heart beat. Just to make sure that I wasn't going crazy and that he was really there.

I pulled away a particularly large stone and gasped. There was his hand! It was severely cut up and covered in blood, but it was there! My heart did somersaults and I was gasping in breaths. Seeing his hand meant that I was so close to uncovering the rest of him and before this it had seemed like a task that would never end. It was still bleeding, which was good because it meant that his heart was still pumping and he was alive! I reached down, put his hand in mine and squeezed gently. After a few seconds, he squeezed back! It was very light and barely there, but it gave me so much hope.

"Dean? What is it?" Luna asked.

"I found his hand! Look!" I answered. Luna peered over my shoulder and a smile appeared on her face as she saw it. "And I even felt him squeeze my hand! We're going to get him out, Luna! I know it!" I was so excited and happy at the thought of seeing him again. Once he was out of there he would not be leaving my sight. Not for a very long time. We had already been apart far too much this year, with me gone into hiding and all. I had missed him so much, and was worried sick about him every day. I could never leave him like that again. It would be too hard.

I let go of his hand and pulled off another rock close to it, revealing his arm, all the way up to his elbow. It didn't look too good: there was a huge gash that was deep and long going across it, and many places were purple and blue with bruises. I was still overjoyed at getting more of him out, though. We were getting so close!

"We should estimate where his head is and try to get it uncovered," Luna said, "It can't be too easy to breathe under there."

"You're right. I think it'll be right around there," I said, pointing to a spot.

"Yes, that looks good," she said, picking up a rock in that area.

This was it. Seamus was alive, not well, but alive. That was all I needed to keep going. The pile of rocks where his head would be was big, and some of the stones were so heavy that Luna and I needed to lift them together. I picked up a small one and threw it behind me and when I looked back I nearly squealed with delight. Moving that little rock and revealed his nose! My breath caught in my throat and I ran my finger gently along it. I knew I had to be very gentle; his nose looked broken and was bleeding profusely.

"Luna, do you see it?" I asked excitedly.

"Yes! Would you like me to fix it for him?" She asked.

"You know how?"

"Sure. It's quite easy." She said.

"Have you done it before?" I asked.

"A few times, actually. It's worked every time I've tried."

"Go ahead," I said, wanting her to put Seamus out of as much pain as she could. His nose looked awful, and I didn't want to wait any longer to heal something that could possibly be healed.

"Episkey!" She said, pointing her wand at his nose. It instantly straightened out back to normal, with a small grunt from Seamus that made me even more excited about getting him out. It looked like if we only moved two more rocks we'd have the rest of his face and even his neck uncovered. Luna seemed to see it too, and we each grabbed one of the rocks and threw it behind us.

I immediately bent down next to him, and looked into his eyes. He had the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen, and my heart felt like it had exploded in my chest at the sight of him. I could see his face, finally, and it felt so good. I

"Dean," He whispered.

"Shay," I said, smiling. "I can't tell you how good it is to see you again." I ran my hand down his cheek, wiping away some blood, "I'm getting you out of here if it's the last thing I do."

"Hurts…so…bad," he managed.

"I know, Shay, I'm so sorry. None of this should have ever happened. I promise you that you'll be okay soon."

"Don't know…if…I'll make it." He said.

"Don't say that! I'm getting you out and you're going to be fine, okay? I refuse to lose you like this." A tear rolled down my face and landed on his cheek. "Please don't leave me."

"I'll try…my…. best."

I smiled softly at him and pulled off a huge rock that was right on top of his chest. Seamus immediately started gasping in breaths of air, that rock must have been crushing his lungs, making it nearly impossible for him to breathe. His entire chest looked terrible, like one giant bruise. Blood was pouring from countless cuts and gashes and I shuddered while looking at it. I placed my head over his heart and heard the reassuring thump of it's beat. It was very faint, and too fast, but it was there, and that was all that mattered.

Seamus was going to make it. He had to.


	4. Chapter 4

**Here you go, guys, chapter four! Sorry that this took so long to upload, real life has been getting in the way.**

"Dean, now that we've found him we should get some help, he's going to need a Healer," Luna said.

"Yeah, I know. But I'm not going to leave him, I can't do that," I said.

"Here, how about you stay with him and I'll go find someone?"

"Sure, thank you so much, Luna."

"No problem, Dean. I know how much he means to you, and I wouldn't want to see him die either," she said.

"He better not die on me."

"He won't. He's strong. I better go, we need help as soon as possible. Bye!"

"Bye."

I watched Luna as she walked out of the hall, and then turned back to Seamus, who was persistently bleeding a dangerous amount. I sat down next to him, grabbed his hand, and squeezed lightly.

"Hey, Shay. You're going to be fine, you have to be. I will do everything I can to make sure that you're okay. I need you, and you need to live. You need to keep awake, don't let your eyes droop. Just focus on me, and don't talk; talking will only be a waste of energy. I need you to do that for me, Seamus. Just so that you'll be okay."

I stroked his thumb with mine and he smiled weakly at me.

"I don't know what I would do if you were gone. I couldn't go on, not without you. You mean everything to me, Shay. Absolutely everything. When I'm with you I feel like the world is okay, even with all the shit that's been going on. I guess what I'm trying to say is...well...I love you, Seamus."

I didn't know what I was doing, telling him that I loved him. I knew that it would only cause disaster but once I said it everything came pouring out.

"I think I've always loved you, ever since we met. Loved everything about you, your smile, your eyes, your craziness. I could never tell you, though. I was too scared. I'm still scared now because I know you're straight and I guess I'm coming out to you right now. I know you can't ever love me, that's why I never told you. I didn't want you to be disgusted by me and stop talking to me completely. Because just getting to be with you is worth all of the pain of knowing that you would never love me."

I needed to stop, I was telling him everything that I promised myself I never would, but it was absolutely impossible.

"Why do you have to be so perfect, Shay? You make it impossible to not love you. Whenever I look into your eyes I can't help but love you so much that it hurts. And when you laugh I just want to bottle it up and keep it forever. God, this is all sounding so cliche, but at the same time so true."

It was getting ridiculous, the things I was telling him. But it seemed that once I had started with all of this I couldn't stop.

"I can't even begin to describe how lonely I was without you this past year. Every day I missed you more than I can put into words and I couldn't stop worrying about you. When I heard that Snape was Headmaster I was worried sick and couldn't stop thinking about how awful Hogwarts must be. I wrote you a letter every day. I obviously couldn't send them, but it still felt like I was talking to you whenever I wrote one. They were often tear stained and my writing was always shaky. I wanted to send them to you, but I knew I couldn't, no one was safe.

"When I walked into the Room of Requirement and saw you running towards me I couldn't have been happier. Just seeing you again was enough for me. But then you were in my arms and it was absolutely overwhelming. To feel you again, smell you again, _be_ with you again. In that moment, nothing would bring me down. After months of loneliness and sorrow I was finally with you again and it was perfect.

"Seeing all of your injuries from the Carrows filled me with such hatred for them that I wanted to kill them both, very, very, slowly. I felt awful, not being able to protect you from them while I was away. I wish I could've stopped it from happening altogether; seeing you hurt was like a stab in the chest. I hoped I would never have to see you like that again, but here we are."

I bent down and kissed each one of his fingers, breathing in his amazing scent of apples and smoke.

"I don't know how I could ever love anyone but you. You're all I could ever want and all I know that I can't have. You're bloody fantastic, Shay. Fantastic and amazing and brilliant and gorgeous and wonderful."

Suddenly, someone roughly tugged me away from him. It was a Healer, and he had three other ones with him. I felt empty having been ripped away from Seamus, but I knew it was all for the best. The Healers began swiftly moving the rocks off of Seamus's body and after not much time at all, got him out completely and laid him down on a stretcher. His body looked even worse than I had expected, one of his legs was twisted in such a way that it was definitely broken, and there seemed to be no end from the blood pouring out of him. They started to push him out of the hall before I stopped them.

"Where are you taking him?" I asked.

"The hospital wing, he is not strong enough to apparate to St. Mungo's," one of the Healers said.

"Can I come with him?" I said.

"No, strict no visitors policy, sorry. The hospital wing is already overflowing as it is."

"You can't just expect me to leave him!"

"If you want him to live, you'll let him go with us," he said.

"Okay, okay. Fine. Take him," I said. It hurt so much to say those words, but what hurt even more was to watch him being wheeled away from me. I hated leaving him, I really did, but there was nothing I could do. Now all that was left was to sit and wait to be allowed to see him.

**Reviews are always appreciated :D**


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